If you want a better relationship in 2018, do this

Marriage therapists tell all. No Images? Click here       Dear Good Life readers, We’re four days into 2018, and that means the holiday hangover has (hopefully) faded and it’s time to kick into gear. If you’ve resolved to better your relationship this year, you’ve come to the right place.  Therapists say that when you set goals as a couple, you’re more likely to hold each other accountable and stay focused on achieving them. And in my experience, that effect is amplified when your goal itself is to create a happy, healthier and more meaningful relationship. As 2017 was coming to a close, we asked marriage therapists to share the resolutions that could help couples take their relationship to the next level this year. This one, suggested by Diane Spear, a couples therapist in New York City, really stood out: “We’ll treat each other as kindly as we treat our friends ― or even our local barista.” “Couples often treat their friends ― or even much more peripheral people in their lives ― with more kindness than they do their partners,” Spears said. ‘“You may give your friend the benefit of the doubt without hesitation. Do you extend that to your partner? How often have you had a tense conversation with your partner in a restaurant, and when the server comes to your table, you switch gears, smile, and are pleasant to the server? Why not be that pleasant to your partner? This resolution is about understanding that kindness goes a long way in dealing with the differences of opinion that all couples have.”  Click here for even more relationship resolutions. And good luck — I’m rooting for you! Love, Ashley Rockman Senior Editor, HuffPost Relationships   In case you missed it Prince Harry and Meghan Markle plan to wed on May 19 at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle. Not much is known about the nuptials so far, but we checked in with royal wedding and etiquette experts to get their predictions on everything from attendance to cost and, of course, the dress. See what they had to say here. Ask an expert   A reader writes, “I feel like my sister has jumped into dating without really taking a breather or time to focus on herself. I'd bring it up but she doesn't handle constructive criticism very well. Should I let her live and figure it out herself or is it worth saying something?” Washington DC-based pyschotherapist Elisabeth J. LaMotte, founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center, is here to answer this week’s question. Here’s what she had to say: “It is generally wise to withhold advice unless it is directly requested — especially among siblings. It sounds like you and your sister have been down this road before, and your well-intended feedback has backfired. If she is in a dangerous or life-threatening situation, advise away. Otherwise, refrain, and demonstrate that you care. Ask her how she is doing. Take her to lunch and do something nice for her. Maybe manicures or a drive to a spot she enjoys. If she opens up and wants to talk, share your own experience with dating rather than observing or analyzing her choices. For example, it is rarely effective to tell her that she is rebounding and that people who can’t be on their own typically do not choose the healthiest relationships. While true, these observations probably won’t go over so well. If she wants to talk, it is much more effective to tell her about a breakup that was rough for you and how you dealt with it. What do you regret looking back? What did you learn? Talk about yourself and open up about your flaws and regrets. Self-effacing honesty and humility are often the best advice of all.” If you have a relationship question that you would like answered in a future newsletter, please e-mail it to us at relationships@huffpost.com.   #TBT What better way to close out the season than with a collection of festive holiday wedding pics? And if you got engaged over the holidays — congrats, by the way! — and are looking to plan a festive fête, these should serve as inspiration.  Links we love: 8 Types Of Toxic People To Leave Behind In 2018 How Achievable The 6 Most Common New Year’s Resolutions Really Are 7 Signs You're Too Close To Your Boss    .     No moon dust. No B.S. Just a completely essential daily guide to achieving the good life. Subscribe here. Like what you see? Share it. Can't get enough? You'll also love: HuffPost Must Reads. ©2018 HuffPost | 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003 You are receiving this email because you signed up for updates from HuffPost Feedback | Privacy Policy | Unsubscribe    . - - Preferences  |  Unsubscribe