12 relationship red flags you may have overlooked

Plus, sex tips from professional dominatrixes No Images? Click here       It’s the first day of March, which means that spring is in sight — almost. While you’re thinking about spring cleaning your home and wardrobe, perhaps it’s time to take a good, hard look at your relationships and do a little cleaning up there as well. Start by paying attention to these often-overlooked relationship red flags. We don’t blame you for missing them; when you’re comfortable with someone — or in the intoxicating, early days of a relationship — it’s easy to look past your partner’s less-than-redeeming qualities. But once you take notice of these warning signs, they become harder and harder to ignore. Use this list as a jumping off point for a discussion with your partner or therapist. Or maybe it’s a friend, not a significant other, that you need to purge. Experts shared with us the signs you need to break up with a toxic friend; you can check them out here. Xo, Ashley Rockman   In case you missed it If you’re looking to dominate between the sheets, you’ve come to the right place. Professional dominatrixes shared their best, most accessible advice for couples who want to mix things up in the bedroom. Be prepared to bring the heat. Ask an expert   A reader writes, “I've been married to my high school sweetheart for the last 14.5 years, after reconnecting as adults. We've never been on the same wavelength politically, and it hasn't been an issue until this last election. I see what this president is doing to our country, and frankly, it depresses the hell out of me. My husband, who is a very intelligent person, just doesn't see it the way I do. I can't talk to him at all about this; whenever I try I'm just waved off and my concerns belittled. As a result, I've lost all sexual desire for my husband. I certainly don't want to leave him, but I do feel I'm having to block off a large part of myself to stay.” Washington DC-based psychotherapist Elisabeth J. LaMotte, founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center, is here to answer this week’s question. Here’s what she had to say: “It is important to know that you are not alone. Marriages throughout the country are struggling to absorb clashing opinions about the current president. I’m much less concerned about your differing political views than I am about the impression that you can’t communicate on this topic and how that is shaping your experience of yourself within the marriage. It is important to let your husband know just how blocked off you have become, and explore whether some productive communication can take place.   “It is meaningful that you value your husband’s intelligence and that this adversity does not lead you to consider leaving the marriage. These threads can help your efforts to stitch something back together through curiosity, kindness, and honesty. Consider finding a quiet moment to say something like this: 'I respect that our views are different. And I admire your intelligence. However, I’m really struggling with our president’s approach and how it seems to divide our country. Every time I try to discuss my fears and concerns, I feel brushed aside and silenced. I want to understand more about why you admire the president and how that relates to your beliefs. And I hope you are equally curious about mine. We don’t have to agree, but you are my most important person, and I want to feel like I can be myself with you. I’m concerned that I’m cutting off too much of who I am, because I have developed the impression that a topic very important to me is off limits.’ “Hopefully, a calm inquiry along these lines will open pathways of communication so that you can become more of yourself again and rekindle your desire. You may need to remind him more than once of these important concerns. Every relationship resists change, even change for the better. If nothing shifts, and you continued to feel brushed aside, I hope the two of you will consider couples therapy.”   #TBT If you’re curious about what marriage looks like after the honeymoon phase wears off, look no further than Twitter. There, hilarious husbands and wives are sharing their super relatable experiences in 280 characters or less. Check out some of our favorite recent tweets here. Links we love: Who Should Pay On A First Date? 6 Signs It’s Too Soon To Move In Together What To Do If You Find Out The Person You’re Dating Is Deep In Debt    .     No moon dust. No B.S. Just a completely essential daily guide to achieving the good life. Subscribe here. Like what you see? Share it. Can't get enough? You'll also love: HuffPost Must Reads. ©2018 HuffPost | 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003 You are receiving this email because you signed up for updates from HuffPost Feedback | Privacy Policy | Unsubscribe    . - - Preferences  |  Unsubscribe